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Another from the “Are You Kidding Me?” Department

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This is why there is traffic on the freeways. Some idiot isn’t paying attention and gets into an accident, or Officer Barney Fife decides to pull over someone for a tail-light out during rush hour, and now we’re all rubber-necking at the sideshow.

Next up is the laugh that is VH1, with their own version of a train wreck, trying to make itself relevant again, this time, borrowing stealing liberally from America’s Next Top Model. They now have “The Shot“, hosted by Russell James. which includes – “Balbinka“, playing the part of the euro-looking skinny girl, who somehow says with a straight face “when I think of passion I think of anger“, and “I modeled for a while, but now I need a new outlet“; Bree playing the dumb-blonde look; Maria, the dark-haired enjenue who looks too much like one of the Sex and the City girls and who said “I got into photography after taking 5,000 pictures on my cell phone“; Ivan, playing the part of Erkel with a Camera; Dean – the balding biker-look guy; John – Balbinka’s euro-boy counter part who said “I shoot a lot of weddings – I’m not exactly your typical wedding photographer, I come in a tux, and I look like I’m straight out of the pages of GQ magazine…I get to hang out with the bridesmaids, and if I’m lucky, take one home“; Airic – the “my mother can’t spell Eric” semi-dreadlock guy who said “I‘m a single man, and I love the ladies, and sometimes the ladies love me“; Jason – the cross between oh, I don’t know, pick someone, he’s too wannabe stylish; Piper – the girl who’s mother’s physcian must have too many aviation magazines in his waiting room; and Robin, the girl with a whole-lota self-expressive body art and jewelery.
(Continued after the Jump)

Note, I said repeatedly “…playing the part of…” because they are all chosen to fit certain stereotypes so the show has a nice “blend” in casting-agent speak. Further, nobody get uppity with me over my “snap judgements” of these aspiring photographer’s appearances, when they’ve chosen fabio-esque Russell James to be the photographer they all want to be – after all, it’s fashion! In fashion, that’s just how they want their subjects to be judged – by how they look. Turnabout is fair play. Oh, and to appeal to their international audience — they’ve got someone from Bosnia, Croatia, and Poland! natch on the Eastern-European audience, and Bree’s from Australia.

Watching the preview, what I want to know is where the hell are the Pocket Wizards!?!?! Why are they hardwired!?!?!

From the site, a few excerpts:
10 amateur photographers the chance to live out their wildest fantasies in pursuit of their ultimate dream: to become the next great fashion photographer…while being guided by world-renowned fashion photographer Russell James….while traveling to exotic locations — all to capture that one perfect shot.
Nice. I’m sure they’ll travel by Lear Jet to get there too, because that is so reality.

…our cast will face daunting tasks and obstacles that will test their talent, desire and drive to be the next great fashion photographer.
Like, let’s see, paying the bills? Carrying the production expenses when your fashion client welches on the bill and buys more fabric instead? Where are these tests? Absent.

“…a “teach challenge”, where Russell presents the cast with a new technical or creative lesson…in a legitimate, fashion-oriented photo campaign.”
I cannot believe I am seeing this in print? Is this April 1st? Let me check my calendar….

“…Each week Russell and his professional panel will review the cast’s photos, eliminating the weakest shooter…After a month long journey the best photographer will emerge and be crowned the show’s winner, thus launching his or her professional career.”
Until such time as they haven’t figured out how much to charge – how to pay the bills, procure a crew, and so on. Then they’ll be back to waiting tables.

The only shot this has at succeeding is if we can blame the writer’s strike for people being driven to this dreck because everything else is in reruns. Please let the strike end soon.

And, because you can’t help but look over at the death and dismemberment that is on the side of the road and contribute to the traffic jams, here it is – the preview, which has our aspirants’ resulting shooting pretty much porn-esque – heck, even Russell said that he didn’t want to see anything more in the future that could be put up on a porn site!

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Originally published on Photo Business News & Forum on November 10, 2007. Comments are closed; this post is part of the archive.

17 thoughts on “Another from the “Are You Kidding Me?” Department”

  2. Excellent article. Your sarcasm and incredulity come through perfectly. Your points are 100% correct and I agree with all of them.

    I must say though that it would have been just as effective to omit the profanity. Especially in the article title, where the strikethrough doesn’t show in the RSS feed.

    I was quite shocked to see the title when I looked at my newsreader this morning. I had to double check that it was coming from Photo Business News.
  3. I worked for a couple of years for one of the best fashion photographer in the world.
    He is a professional and he has a big staff. Fashion photograhy is absolutely one of most difficult field in all photography.You need a crew, organization and planning… Well…
  4. Hi John,

    Concur with your writings though without sounding like a prude, agree with the ‘leave the profanity’ sentiment posted earlier. Still, it’s your blog not mine.
  6. The problem with all this low-brow leanings is……it pulls you in like a Death Star tractor beam. You can’t stop watching it. Just like I can not stop reading the Bitter Photographer or A Photo Editor Blog or any of the other oh-so-catty and bitchy takes on the crazy world of creatives and their careers.

    Please, make it stop. I’d like to read a book again and stop lowering my I.Q.
  7. Right on John!

    I will admit to having watched the first episode although I did have to get it on iTunes, I am not much into watching TV.

    There is no reality in this reality show. Except maybe to show why the photography business is crowded at the bottom.

    Oh and yes, the major magazines always give out 5 page photo stories to be shot overnight by photographers without direction… Not even close!

    I would expect that whoever from this group makes it to the top and does the shoot for Marie Claire and Victoria’s Secret is going to be very closely supervised.

    This is such a good case study as to what not to do, that even I will continue to watch. But only on my iPod, maybe on the treadmill at the gym. I don’t want to waste that much time.
  10. I was flipping through the channels the other night & saw this. There is just one word to describe it:
    CRAPTASTIC.

    But once that nitwit uttered the phrase, ‘I love the ladies’, I just had to keep watching. Too funny (in a laughing at, not laughing with kind of way).

    I had been thinking that a reality show, ala Project Runway, would be good. But this was a horror show.
  11. Like a rubber-necker at a fatal car crash, I watched Episode 1. I turned it off when one of the contestants, shooting a top model with a prime lens, pulled down the camera, and said “how do I zoom out?”.
  12. Not to waste energy on a technical nit (especially for this show,) but for that naked shoot, I think they were shooting tethered. There was a sync cord and what looked like a USB cable with Russel looking on on a large screen. I suppose if you’ve got one cord, two’s not going to be worse?

    Unfortunately, I watched this train wreck as well – my favorite part of the carnage? “How do you zoom this lens?” “You can’t its a fixed lens.”

    Maybe they’ll get to pricing later, but looks like Russel’s got a alot of ground to cover in those educational sessions.
  14. Really? I mean REALLY?

    Come on. If you honestly think that this show is going to ruin the fashion photography industry, then you’re sorely mistaken. Anyone who knows anything about the industry will know that this show does not even come close to what the job really entails. We all know that only the best and the toughest photogs will make it in the high fashion industry, not a reality show winner.

    Can’t you just take this for its entertainment value and stop being such a snob about it?

    Seriously, let’s let the kids play in the pool and have their fun while the big guys get the real work done.
  15. You really should be more clear when you say “The Shot” stole liberally from “Top Model” ..not just ideas, the producer. Is it even fair to say they stole when it’s the same people?

    What you ought to be ragging on them for is their photo contest for the viewers.

    To quote a little piece of the rules:
    “…MTVN shall have the sole and exclusive right to exploit the Photo Entry, and to license others to do so, in its sole discretion, in whole or in part, in all media, now known or hereafter devised, throughout the world in perpetuity, with the right to use, alter and modify the Photo Entry in any manner that MTVN may determine…”
  16. I have a tangential comment, so please, forgive this.

    Photographer Italy: Did you sign an NDA with this fashion photographer? Did he tell you not to tell anyone? Why wouldn’t you name the man you worked for? If he is as famous as you say, it can only add to your reputation! Furthermore, what were you trying to add with your comment?
  17. The show is not about anything other than selling the commercials…. it has nothing to do with “primes” or’pocket wizards” it’s about creating a big enough train wreck to keep people watching the toothpaste “make your teeth perfect” commercials… anyone who actually works in media should know this…

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